Have you ever been in the sea when a big wave rolled over you, and just as you tried to get up, another wave hit, and then another, until you finally stumbled onto the beach with matted hair, sand everywhere, and a boob sticking out because your bikini was all messed up? That’s how I felt getting out of 2023 — a year so awful that I couldn’t even muster the strength to look back on all the experiences to write a review.
2024, though, was different. It was the year I finally staggered to shore, catching my breath, pulling myself together and untangling the mess to find some calm.
Farewell Quebec!
In early 2023, our eldest son, E., was diagnosed with Level 1 Autism and ADHD. Living in Quebec, where he was due to start kindergarten, we managed to secure permission from the Ministry of Education for him to attend an English school, thinking it’d be easier for him to learn in his native language. How wrong we were! The treatment of neurodiverse children at the international school he attended was so poor that my partner and I were left traumatized and heartbroken, and the 2023/2024 school year was a complete loss for E., both academically and socially.
Among other issues, the school restricted his attendance to just a few hours a day, claiming this would somehow improve his behavior—as though he could magically conform to neurotypical expectations. At one point, he was allowed at school only from 7:38 a.m. to 10:20 a.m.—a wonderfully practical arrangement for two full-time working parents. The stress was overwhelming.
The challenges made it impossible for my partner and me to improve our French as we had planned. Adding to our frustrations, the province’s increasingly hostile policies toward Anglophones made daily life harder and harder. We were already fed up with the lack of English-speaking services in our Montreal suburb and the discrimination E. faced at school, so when our landlord announced a rent increase in March 2024, it felt like a sign. After nearly three years, it was finally time to cut our losses and leave.
In early June, we packed our bags and moved to Canada’s capital, Ottawa. Just a two-hour drive from Montreal, but a whole different world for us—more inclusive, supportive, and a chance for a fresh start.
New province, new life… and a new baby
Maybe I forgot to mention that the whole move took place while I was pregnant? In fact, I was at the end of my pregnancy when we came to Ottawa. Trust me, moving in the summer heat with a belly that size was no fun, but I was determined to deliver our baby in our new city—and I’m so glad I did.
After having two boys and thinking our family was complete, I was terrified when I unexpectedly got pregnant with our third child in October 2023. At the time, our lives felt like they were falling apart. We were both recovering from burnout and depression, juggling two kids, and facing endless challenges. But I wanted to keep the baby, and I was overjoyed when the genetic test revealed it was a girl. Despite my fears and a pregnancy filled with constant sickness, it felt like the universe had sent us a gift: a baby girl as our good omen for brighter days.
My maternity leave began in July, and Lila was born on a hot summer morning at Queensway Carleton Hospital, our rainbow baby after the storm. She was so tiny compared to her brothers at birth, and it felt amazing to hold her after everything we’d gone through, like finding an OB who would accept me at eight months, picking a school that could offer the right support for E., renting a house without visiting it beforehand, and moving across provinces. It was all worth it.
We had a smooth, peaceful summer in our new home. My parents came from Brazil to help with the transition to life with three kids, which made things much easier. Of course, there were moments of sibling jealousy, breastfeeding challenges, and the rollercoaster of postpartum emotions—I’d forgotten how powerful and overwhelming they can be! But overall, it was a time of healing and adjustment.
One of my favorite things about moving is discovering the differences in each new place: the houses, the local wildlife, watching the seasons change in a new neighborhood. I’ve fallen completely in love with Kanata and its abundance of parks, friendly neighbors, and, of course, the ease of speaking English everywhere. It’s the little things in life, right? I have the feeling that we’ll stick around here for years to come – and I really hope so, because moving around so often is exhausting.
The right school has made the difference for us
Our main goal in moving to Ontario was to find a public school that would support E. instead of shunning him as his school in Quebec had, and to be in a place where access to extracurricular activities and therapies that our children need would be easier. After thorough research, we chose a neighborhood in Kanata with a Catholic school known for welcoming neurodiverse children and rented a house nearby.
I reached out to the Catholic school board with many questions about special needs programs, and everyone was helpful in guiding us through the next steps. I also spoke with the resource teacher and another teacher at his future school, who asked thoughtful questions and showed a genuine interest in E. and his needs. After we actually moved to Ottawa, we took him to the school before classes started to meet the teacher and familiarize himself with the school to make the transition smoother.
As the first day of school approached in September, my partner and I were anxious about E.’s adjustment. I couldn’t sleep for days, worrying about potential issues. But to our relief, the transition was smoother than we ever imagined. After a few tears on the first day, E. settled in quickly, made new friends, and started coming home excited about his teachers and classmates. He now loves school and stays in class every day.
Our middle son, K., also started kindergarten at the same school and is equally enthusiastic. I couldn’t be happier with how things have turned out. All the research and effort paid off, and my only regret is not moving directly from Vancouver to Ottawa – but I believe everything happens for a reason, and our time in Quebec taught us to cherish what we have now even more.
Moving on
With all the big changes we made in 2024, it’s no surprise that the year flew by. Moving houses and having a baby are considered two of life’s most stressful events, but none of it came close to the stress of any single month in 2023. Sometimes I think, “WTF, 2023 was awful,” but that’s exactly why we made so many changes in 2024. I feel proud of my determination, resilience, and organizational skills in seeking out and acting on solutions to our problems and challenges.
This gives me a strange sense of calm: no matter what curveballs life throws at us, we’ve proven we can pick up the pieces and start again—like we did when we moved to Canada a decade ago, when we moved from British Columbia to Quebec in 2021, and again this year. Worst case, we adapt and rebuild once more—though I truly hope we’ve found our long-term home here in Ottawa.
For now, I’m savoring the peace we’ve found in Kanata. Everything here seems to flow so easily, and I’m hopeful that 2025 marks the start of a calmer, more stable chapter for our family.
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